I just feel like im constantly lying to myself. I hate this.
I've heard so much shit about people that I feel disgusted to even be here.
I know way too much, everyone tells me secrets. It's too much sometimes.
I feel like sometimes I am a secret myself because I never let anyone in to my secrets.
And than people think Im not talkative because I think "I'm too good" or that bull shit.
I've never felt that way at any point in my life. If any thing I feel like Im too lucky to have the friends I do.
There is so much to me that no one knows and no one will.
Becuase I reach a point where I become cold and frozen.
The way people react to things gets me the most. I've recently been told alot of things people did out of revenge and it literally sickens me. And this is not down here.
I remember when these thoughts never crossed my mind and I would take whatever was thrown at me. I think that im mentally not able to do that anymore. Thoughts like getting back at someone have crossed my mind alot lately. Although I have not fully fell into doing any of them. Becuase I would still with all my heart would like to think that i am an okay person.
With all these thoughts circling my head lately I havent even had time to think about what really matters.
My family. My uncle is in a light way of saying it, sick.
I don't want to lose someone else.